Get to the top: How to achieve a female orgasm
Get to the top: How to achieve a female orgasm
Blog Article
Whether you’re with a partner or flying solo, women often face more barriers to orgasm. From a lack of biological knowledge to mental blocks, it’s no surprise that 20% of women claim they’ve never orgasmed, and a shocking 50% wish they could orgasm more. Though not so taboo anymore, the female orgasm has always divided opinion, leading to misunderstandings and a lack of pleasure for women worldwide. But we want to change that!
Keep reading to understand the general components of the female orgasm and how you can increase your chances of having one. Like the sound of that? We do, too. Let’s go!
Before we jump into the juicy stuff, it’s essential to discuss the orgasm gap. This term refers to the difference between male and female orgasms in the context of heterosexual sex. Studies have shown that women are having fewer orgasms than men, with only 49% of wives in heterosexual newlywed couples reporting consistent orgasms, compared to 87% of husbands. So, why does this gap exist? Experts aren’t exactly sure. Some think it’s purely biological, while others blame a lack of sexual education and lingering shame surrounding female sexuality and pleasure.
If you haven’t orgasmed before but want to reach your peak, it’s important to note that real orgasms aren’t like the screaming finales you see in films. While some may react that way, others don’t. What’s really important is to take the pressure off yourself and reframe your goals. Rather than viewing orgasm as a be-all and end-all achievement, focus on simply enjoying the pleasure.
To enhance your sexual experience, consider the following tips. First, focus on the journey rather than the destination. This might sound cliché, but it’s a tried-and-tested way to remove mental blocks that could be hindering your orgasms. Next, ensure you’re in a comfortable setting where you won’t be distracted or interrupted. Knowing you’re in a safe space will lead to a more relaxed mindset.
Taking time to get in the mood is crucial, too. You need to be turned on before you can orgasm! Set the mood with erotic stories, pornography, or even your imagination. Now, let’s get to the physical aspect. Everyone enjoys different sensations and speeds, so if you have a vagina and clitoris, start by massaging the fleshy area above your clit, gradually working your way down. Typically, you’ll find yourself wanting to rub harder and faster. Experiment with pressure and speed until you feel close to losing control. You might also want to try some vaginal penetration with your fingers or a sex toy for added stimulation.
If you’ve tried and haven’t succeeded, don’t panic. Some people can orgasm more easily than others, and not achieving one doesn’t mean it’s impossible for you. Reflect on your last attempt: Did you feel close to orgasm, or did you not feel anything at all? Did you enjoy the sensations? Consider whether a sex toy or a different approach might help you feel more aroused. Also, keep in mind any stressors in your life (work, health, relationships) that may impact your ability to enjoy sexual pleasure. If at any point masturbation or sex feels less pleasurable, it’s important to set boundaries and stop.
It’s usually not necessary to see your GP if you can’t orgasm, unless you experience pain or signs of infection. However, you might consider addressing your concerns with a sex therapist. Unlike doctors, sex therapists focus on the psychological aspects of sexuality and can help with communication, body confidence, and overcoming mental blocks related to orgasm.
Understanding what happens to your body during orgasm can also be beneficial. Not all orgasms are the same; some may be stronger and more intense than others. Physical symptoms of an orgasm in women include a sudden release of sexual tension, increased blood pressure and heart rate, quick, short breaths, involuntary muscle contractions (e.g., in feet, abdomen, or legs), and contractions of the vagina and uterus. You might experience all of these symptoms or only one or two—there’s no right or wrong combination.
Experimenting with different elements can help you get closer to orgasm. Follow what you’re drawn to and start playing with your fantasies. Here are some common turn-ons that may inspire your sex life: spend more time on foreplay or external stimulation, incorporate a romantic narrative into your session, explore touching non-sexual parts of your body (e.g., your stomach or legs), engage in kissing with a partner, and experiment with sensory elements, such as blindfolds or temperature play.
Orgasms might feel a world away, but as you continue to explore pleasure, you’ll get closer to that elusive peak. Remember to take the pressure off yourself and focus on enjoyment. If you concentrate solely on achieving orgasm, it might take the joy out of the experience and leave you feeling frustrated.
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